After my first shoot on the streets of Norwich, I tested out my new camera (Canon 70D) and attempted to be an outsider. With me being from Burnley 6 hours away, I do stand out a little from the crowd which made me think I could photograph what I see from my perspective seeing people i found interesting and strange to what I am used to seeing. Earlier this year, I did street photography as a personal project and I thoroughly enjoyed it so I was keen and eager to try this out on Norwich’s high street.
However this wasn’t the case. The new camera system at first put me down an awful lot not allowing me to capture what i saw at a certain moment because of the dials i had to get used to with each one altering different settings. I started to feel the initial inspiration, motivation and all the hard work i did at A-Level started to disintegrate. I kept having an uphill mental battle with myself constantly trying to get a good picture, get close to people like I used to but failed to do so.
My motivational drop didn’t stop there. Whilst I’m writing this i have just realised when i got back to my room, i didn’t look at the images straight away like i normally would… When i did my computer (Surface Pro 2) gave me error after error, lag after lag and frustration was reaching a point where i nearly threw the system out the window. Reflecting back to this moment a couple of days ago, makes me upset.
It upsets me whilst I’m writing this because of all the strenuousness hard work I did to get here, to do Photography at my first chosen University, to make my career goal as a professional photographer, has all gone.
I’m not in a happy place at the moment.
My fake smiles get me though the days but I keep thinking…. there must be something deep down still waking me up everyday to go to my lectures. I need to realise quickly if this is the right course for me. I have organised tutorials with Junkeo to get support and to gain a closer relationship with her.